• Don’t rush in luv for it never runs out. Let luv be the one to knock at ur door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that ur feeling is for sure.

• I hate u when u smile at me coz u make me crazy. I hate u when u talk to me coz u make me run out of words. I hate u when I see u coz u make me luv u more.

• I luv my eyes when u look into them; I luv my name when u say it; I luv my heart when u luv it; I luv my life when you are in it.

• I may b innocent to know what luv is, I may not show it to u. I may not luv u the way it should b, but I’m always willing to luv u the way I understand it.

• Sometimes the world gives me so many reasons to hate it but whenever it happens I just stop & think of u n say: How can I hate this world when u r a part of it

• Love is not how long u've been together; not how much u've given or receive; Not how many times u've helped each other – It’s how u value each other

• U'll always be mine 4 now & 4ever. U'll always be mine 4 u r my treasure. U'll always be mine please tell me its true. Please be mine 4ever. I'll always luv u

• I love the way you make me happy, and the ways you show your care. I love the way you say, 'I Love You,' and the way you're always there.

• We cannot be together,
But we'll never be apart,
For no matter what life brings us,
You’re always in my heart.

• If I could give u one thing in life, I would give u the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would u realise how special u r to me!

• What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U

• 'I Trust You' is a better compliment than 'I Love You' because you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust.

Each Daddy's Real Story

At 4 Years
My daddy is great .

At 6 Years
My daddy knows everybody.

At 10 Years
My daddy is good but is short tempered

At 12 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young .

At 14 Years
My daddy is getting fastidious.

At 16 Years
My daddy is not in line with the current times.

At 18 Years
My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

At 20 Years
Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.

At 25 Years
Daddy is objecting to everything.

At 30 Years
I t’s becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.

At 40 Years
Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.

At 45 Years
I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

At 50 Years
My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.

At 55 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young . He is one of his kind and unique.

At 60 Years
My daddy is great.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete thecycle and come back to the 1st.stage.

Realize the true value of your parentsbefore its too late.

My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us.

He is one of his kind and unique.

At 60 Years My daddy is great.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st.stage.

Realize the true value of your parents before its too late.

The Software Development Life Cycle

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.

5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.

6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.

7. Users find 137 new bugs.

8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.

9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.

10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.

13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

And the cycle continues….

Indian Leaders

There are 10 National leaders in the following picture

Munna bhai Chale America

Release Day

A woman wakes up during the night to find that her husband was not inbed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee infront of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at thewall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years agowhen we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly. “Yes I do” she replies.

The husband pauses - the words were not coming easily. “Do youremember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car makinglove?” “Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgunin my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you tojail for 20 years?” “I remember that too” she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have been released today.”

Girls are always Incomplete without Boyz

WOMAN has MAN in it.
SHE has HE in it.
Mrs Has Mr. in it.
LADY has LAD in it.
MISTRESS has MISTER in it!
MADAM has ADAM in it.
HOSTESS has HOST in it.
FEMALE has MALE in it so on the list is unending.
So girls, No need to proud….. Girls are always incomplete without boys !!!

At ATM:Boyz v/s Girlz

How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away

Its Simple as Ever....

How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM

1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on.

See the Guts :)

On a ship, the Project managers of three diff companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.
The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, “See the guts!”
Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, “See the guts!”
Now the Indian PM called out for his most Courageous man And asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, “Tere baap ka naukar hoon kya??? “The PM proudly said, “See the guts!” ;-))

Gujarat is once again no.1 in investment in the country

Gujarat is once again no.1 in investment in the country

Gujarat has retained its first position in industrial investment for the successive forth year this year. A report of Centre for Monitoring Indian Economy says that Gujarat is at the top with investment of 2,76,365 crore according to Government Spokesman I K jadeja.
He said that Maharashtra is at the second place with 2,32,245 crore investment while Andhra Pradesh is at third position. Gujarat has maintained this position fro the fourth successive year, he said.

Gujarat no.1 in providing jobs

Gujarat Global News Network, Gandhinagar

Gujarat is the first in the country in creating maximum job opportunities and providing employment to the job seekers through the government employment exchange offices, according to a survey conducted by Director General of the Union Labour and Employment Ministry. Gujarat has retained top position for the fourth consecutive year.
Government spokesmen I K Jadeja and Saurabh Patel said that as per the report, out of the total of 1.73 lakh jobs made available through 947 employment exchanges across the country in 2005, Gujarat provided the highest number of jobs (over 92,000) through its 42 exchange offices.

Tamil Nadu and Maharashtra ranked second and third in providing 15,300 and 15,000 jobs in their respective states. For the last four years, Gujarat has retained the first place by providing maximum employment ranging between 46 per cent and 54 per cent in the State.
The report includes only those jobs being provided through employment exchange offices. But Gujarat has also maintained its impressive momentum in providing employment to its people in education, police and health sectors, besides in private sector companies.
The spokesman said that in the year 2005-06, the government, in collaboration with the private sector, had organised as many as 441 mega job fairs across Gujarat, providing 99,333 jobs. Moreover, the government has been creating employment opportunities by offering vocational courses and training programmes in its technical institutes for airhostesses, ground staff, gas fitters, micro-irrigation technicians, call centres, marine technicians and motor driving.

Sardar Sarovar Project: a technological marvel of innovation

Sardar Sarovar Project: a technological marvel of innovation

Sardar Sarovar Project on river Narmada is not just one more big dam. It is a wonder of modern technology. This terminal dam on 1312-km long river Narmada, its water distribution network and its powerhouses show the vision of the planners and are an excellent example of innovation.

The project for irrigation water and hydel power is one of the greatest engineering projects in the country. If we talk about the Dam only, Narmada Dam with 163 M height is the third highest Dam in the country after Bhakara (226M) and Lakhwar (192M). In terms of volume of concrete used for the gravity dam it is the second largest in the world with aggregate volume of 6.82 mcm. The first one was the Grand Coolie Dam in USA. It is now replaced by ' Three sorges' dam of China.

The dam has spillway discharging capacity of over 30 lakh cusecs which is the third highest in the world after Gazemba in China and Takri in Brazil.

It is not only that the dam is unique, the canal system and its two powerhouses add many unique features to the Sardar Sarovar Project. It is one of the largest water resources development projects in India.

World's largest lined irrigation canal

The 532 km long Narmada main canal is the world's largest lined irrigation canal with a capacity of 40,000 cusecs of water at the head. The 40 branch canals spanning across 86,000km form the water distribution network.

The fact that the entire canal is lined is very important. It saves distribution loss of water and thus makes the channel quite efficient. It also prevents problem like water logging through seepage. This makes sure that maximum water reaches till the end. The main canal is designed with gentle slope of 1: 15,000 mt. It operates through gates over pool of water.

The Narmada main canal will cross major rivers of Gujarat such as Mahi, Sabarmati, Rupen, Khari, Saraswati, Banas etc. It will not only irrigate a command area of over 18.0lakh ha of land in Gujarat, it shall also discharge water into these rivers thus becoming the forerunner for the National Inter-River Garlanding scheme.

Another important component of the project which is very important for the inter-linking of rivers is carrying water through falls and lifts for the command areas of Saurashtra and Kutch. The Saurashtra branch canal with 14500 cusecs (425 cumec) capacity and Kutch branch canal with 77700 cusecs (220 cumec) capacity would be crossing the depression between main land in Gujarat and the Saurashtra and Kutch regions on the other side. In Saurashtra Branch Canal, the water would be lifted in five stages up to total head of 72m. Pumping stations at the five lift points are under implementation with a battery of 65 concrete volute pumps of 20 m3/s each (plus 22 vertcal turbinepumps of 5 cumecs) through a consortium of Indian and Italian collaborators. These pumping stations will be the largest in the country.

The line has a capacity of 40,000 cusecs of water.

Full supply level (FSL) at H.R.: 91.44m (300')
Length up to Gujarat-Rajasthan border:458.00km
Length in Rajasthan: 74.00km
Base width in head reach: 73.01m
Full supply depth (FSD) in head reach: 7.60m
Designed discharge capacity
a) In head reach: 1133 cumecs
(40,000 cusecs)
b) At Gujarat Rajasthan border:71 cumecs
(2500 cusecs)

The canal in its journey up to Rajasthan border will traverse through regions having diverse agro-climatic and soil characteristics and crosses numerous streams and major rivers. In all, about 600 structures of various type viz. cross drainage works, canal crossings, regulating and control structures etc, are proposed to be constructed along the main canal.

The Sabarmati and Mahi aqueducts are some of the largest structures in the world and architectural marvels in themselves.

Made to live 300 years

The construction of dam has many distinct features. Generally, dams have life of 100 years. This dam has life of 300 years. This is because of treatment of the catchments area. This reduces rate of siltation and as a result the life of dam increases.

The life of dam means that the time for which the dam stores water to maximum capacity. Because of siltation water-storing capacity gradually reduces and ultimately dam becomes useless. The only solution is dredging operations. However, this is not possible because of technical limitations. The only way is to reduce siltation in the catchment area.

This is done through afforestation in the catchment area. A study of the area through remote sensing in 1985-86 and 1994 showed that closed forest and open forest area had increased by 3,273 ha and 3001 ha, respectively. The degraded forest area had decreased considerably from 12,746ha to 7019ha.

Dam Dimensions

The dam is a 1210 m (3970 feet) long wall of concrete across the valley. It is designed to impound a reservoir with a full level of 139 m (455 feet) above sea level (asl). The middle section of the dam is planned to reach a height of 146.5 m (481 feet) asl. The bed of the river at the dam site is at 17 m (56 feet) asl so the planned height of the dam above the river bed is 129.5 m (425 feet).

Associated Infrastructure

The main canal leading from the reservoir is scheduled to be 460 km (286 miles) long, eventually reaching the state of Rajasthan. It is 250 m (820 feet) wide at its head near the dam and planned to be 100 m (328 feet) wide at the Rajasthan border. A network of secondary canals totalling 75,000 km (46,600 miles) in length is planned to deliver the irrigation water to farmers. Large electric-powered pumping stations will need to be built to deliver water to the Saurashtra and Kutch branches of the canal system. A large powerhouse containing turbines and related machinery is being built at the dam and a smaller one at the head of the canal. A weir is to be built at Garudeshwar, around 16 kilometres downstream of the dam, with a capacity to store six hours of the maximum flow through the Sardar Sarovar turbines. This water can be pumped back into the reservoir at times of low daily electricity demand and then released through the turbines again to generate electricity at times of peak demand.

Will stand straight even at 8 R

After the devastating earthquake of Kutch, the question of damage to big structures like dam has come in sharp focus. Almost 30 years before this earthquake, the planners of the Narmada Dam had thought of this problem. They studied seismic activity data of past several decades and found that earthquakes were maximum around 7 degree on the Richter Scale. The entire structure of the Sardar Sarovar project is to withstand shocks and tremors upto 8 degree on the richter scale. A fact not known to many. Sophisticated seismology instruments have been installed for monitoring earth's acitivites. Studies are being done regularly to monitor and find solutions of problems that may arise from time to time.

World's second largest single cable ropeway

The length of the dam is 1210mt. Naturally, the entire construction along the length is a challenging task. To transport concrete and other construction material a long ropeway of 1260mt. has been set up. A trolley attached to the ropeway looks like a bucket from the ground. You know how much material it can transport? Three truck loads in a single trip!

The entire ropeway is on a pair of straight cables. This was the longest straight single cable pair in the world until China built a longer cable in 2003.

Construction material for the dam is mixed through computer-controlled mechanism. This gives the exact quantity of different material to be mixed before the material is used in the construction.

Iced concrete

A special ice plant has been set up at the dam site! Ice has a lot to do with the construction of the dam. Concrete is basically lime, which on interaction with water produces heat. To prevent this reaction, ice flakes are added to concrete. It is ensured that the temperature of the concrete remains at 12C. Then only the construction process is allowed.

Two powerhouses to make the most of Narmada water

The project has two powerhouses. Riverbed powerhouse of 1200 MW and canal head powerhouse of 250 MW. The two powerhouses have been planned to maximize the use of water. In the Canal head powerhouse, water going to main canal is used for generating power.

River Bed Power House ( RBPH)

River Bed Power House has the largest installed capacity among pumped storage schemes in India. Size of power generating units is also largest of this type in the country. It has six units each of 200 MW. Five units have already been installed and the sixth is in final stage of installation. This powerhouse has been fully commissioned in June 2006.

This is underground power station on right bank of the river located about 165mt downstream of the dam. It has Francis type reversible turbine generators.

Canal Head Power House (CHPH)

Canal Head Powerhouse is a surface powerhouse to accommodate 5 units of conventional Kalpan Type generator each of 50 MW capacity. It is located at the toe of Vadgam Saddle dam, which will house the intake arrangement for power. This powerhouse has also been commissioned.

Innovative water distribution

The most important feature of the water supply is that it is volumetric instead of area approach. The system would be fully computerized to ensure equitable flow in all areas. This would guard against the most common problem of over use of water by initial command blocks, leaving less supplies to the areas down the canal.

The system would be fully computerized and remotely operated up to the level of 300 cusecs capacity. Another important feature is that the irrigation water in the command area of SSP would be delivered to farmers' groups and not to individual farmers. The groups will have to manage distribution within their block called village service area.

The remotely controlled system would make automatic adjustments for stroking of gates in the main canal and branches. The response time is extremely important for timely deliveries of water to remote areas of Kutch, North Gujarat and Saurashtra. In case of SSP, the response time will be less than 24 hours, which conventionally would be several days.

The farmers associations are also required to operate system on rotational delivery principles within the village areas. This would ensure that entire flow within village systems is distributed proportionately without any manual intervention. Thus farmers have not to do any gate operation and have only to regulate the hours per ha of individual farmers.

Wishing You A Colorful and Happy Holi

Wishing You And Your Entire Family A Happy Holi.
May This Holi Marks A Success To Your Life.

Amazing Sardar Sarovar Dam

Here are some amazing pictures of Sardar Sarovar Dam.
Jai Gujarat !!

Telegram

TELEGRAM #1A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as :
“Father, your daughter has been successful in BED.”
*********************
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife :
“I wish you were here.” The message received by wife:
“I wish you were her.”
*************************************
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
“Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady.”
************************************

Know Mr Vajpayee Better!!

Vajpayee,General Musharraf, Aishwarya Rai and Margaret Thatcher are sitting in a train
The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap
The train comes out of the tunnel. Both women and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed
Gen Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap
All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything
Thatcher is thinking:
“These World are all crazy after Aishwarya. Gen Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him”
Aishwarya is thinking:
“Gen Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped”
General Musharraf is thinking:
“Damn it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she must have thought it was me and slapped my face”
Vajpayee is thinking:
“If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap General Musharraf again”
Cool

Sardar is Back....

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thingis what you call modern art?Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!************************************************************
Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.Friend: Why?Sardar: Got upper berth.Friend: Why didn’t u exchange?Sardar: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..
*************************************************************
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.again had twins & named Max & Climax.Again the same! Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
*************************************************************
19 SARDARS WENT for A FILM.ON ASKING THEM WHY THEY CAME IN A BIGGROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 18…**************************************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judgeasked:How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children?Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

Salary this month == 100 Kisses

Husband Letter to Wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart.
Your husbandAllen….
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2.. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3.. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or threekisses instead of the rent.
4.. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items………..
5.. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!!
Your Sweet Heart
Ann

Funny Definitions

• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

• Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

• Father: A banker provided by nature.

List of Great Thoughts

• People are made to be Loved and Things are made to be used, but there is so much confusion in the world ‘coz people are being used & things are being loved

• The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get upin the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

• Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is introuble again.

• Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

• Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’Srelativity.