Monday, May 28, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Some Cool Facts!!!! Really
1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I’ll trade this but not my charizard.
3. If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
4. Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
5. I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
8. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.
9. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
10. The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.
11. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
12. People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
13. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
14. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”
15. Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
16. Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
17. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don’t have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
18. MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
19. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
20. You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
21. Girls are like internet domain names; the ones I like are already taken.
22. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
23. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
24. Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press ‘F9″ to continue.
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
26. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
27. Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
28. The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.
29. A thousand Words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
30. Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
31. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
32. Better to be a geek than an idiot.
33. Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
34. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
35. Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.
36. “Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.”
37. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”
38. Windows XP -now comes with free anger management courses.
39. Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.
40. Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.
2. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I’ll trade this but not my charizard.
3. If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
4. Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
5. I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
6. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
7. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
8. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.
9. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
10. The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.
11. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
12. People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
13. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
14. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”
15. Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
16. Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
17. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don’t have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
18. MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
19. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
20. You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
21. Girls are like internet domain names; the ones I like are already taken.
22. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
23. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
24. Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press ‘F9″ to continue.
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
26. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
27. Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
28. The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.
29. A thousand Words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.
30. Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
31. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
32. Better to be a geek than an idiot.
33. Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.
34. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
35. Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.
36. “Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.”
37. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”
38. Windows XP -now comes with free anger management courses.
39. Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.
40. Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Shayari
Zindagi hai nadaan isliye chup hu,
Dard hi dard hai subah shaam isliye chup hu,
keh to du zamane se dastaan apni,
Lekin usme ayega tera naam isliye chup hu.
Thukra ke usne mujhko,
kaha ki muskuraao!
Maine has diya,
aakhir sawal uski khushi ka tha.
Maine khoya woh jo mera tha hi nahi,
Usne khoya wo jo sirf usi ka tha.
Dard me koi mousam pyara nahi hota,
Dil ho pyasa to pani se gujara nahi hota.
Koi dekhe to humari bebasi,
Hum sabhi k ho jate hain
Par koi humara nahi hota.
Dard hi dard hai subah shaam isliye chup hu,
keh to du zamane se dastaan apni,
Lekin usme ayega tera naam isliye chup hu.
Thukra ke usne mujhko,
kaha ki muskuraao!
Maine has diya,
aakhir sawal uski khushi ka tha.
Maine khoya woh jo mera tha hi nahi,
Usne khoya wo jo sirf usi ka tha.
Dard me koi mousam pyara nahi hota,
Dil ho pyasa to pani se gujara nahi hota.
Koi dekhe to humari bebasi,
Hum sabhi k ho jate hain
Par koi humara nahi hota.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
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