Birthday Cake!!!!

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.


The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.


Well he thinks for a while and says:


Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".


The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"


The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.


The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:


"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".

Amul Collection

Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. (Normally one club and two balls)

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep balls out of the hole.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to make as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.

10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely careful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

13. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

16. Payment for membership is dependent upon the given course. Additional assessment may be levied by the course owner and the rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.

Inspirational Quotes

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Very Adult

A very adult joke

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to
line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful
big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they were told that
anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be
ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests
until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off,
clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up……

Then all the other bells started to ring.

Little Johnny

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.

''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''

The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think.''

Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''

''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like the way you think .''

Hum jee rahe the........

Hum jee rahe the unka naam lekar,

Wo gujarte the hamara salaam lekar,

Ek din wo keh gaye bhula do humko,

Humne pucha kaise ?

Wo chale gaye hath mein jaam dekar

White Peacock - Simply Beautiful

Newton in Romantic Mood.

Universal law of Love:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

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First law of Love:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "

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Second law of Love:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "

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Third law of Love:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping ."

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Isn't She very Cute????

Humorous Laws

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

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LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

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BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

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Funny Quotes

One should love animals. - They are so tasty .

Save water. - Shower with your girl friend.

Love the neighbour. - Just don't get caught.

Every man should marry. - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children

"Hard work never killed anybody" - But why take the risk !

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... What more can I say........>

What you have to say for your WIFE!!!!!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

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The great question.... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?

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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Great Saying by Great People Around the World