What you have to say for your WIFE!!!!!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

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The great question.... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?

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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."